What If Freewrite

What if I was never in marching band?

Wel i gues if i was never in marching band, i wouldnt have had that sunburn. or those sunburns, or that dehydration or the pain. but i dont think i would have the discipline, the skill in my instrument, the bragging right to say < “whey my band is super good in marching”. i guess i never would have met nick, or melissa. well i might have. i dont know if the what if applies to convert band. so lets say i did concery band. we sit in the smae spot every day, and pretty much stay iwithing our sections. so i may have met lmellissa, bproblably would have. would not have met nivck. which i dont know where my life would be or who i would dbe dating. or who my furture husband would be or whatever. i wouldnt nkow how to solve RWO TWO saides of a megaminxx, or botered to learn how to solve a rubkiks cube at all. I wouldnt know newat facts about things. i wouldnt know a lot. but would i have gotten that information from somehwat welse? i dont know. i would only hope. because im so much more of a person from knowing nick. i dont NEED him to breathe, i would like ihim, love him to be in my life, but im independent, and it hink ive learned that from him. so would i be ain a codependt relationsjop right now? whould i be smoking crack in the back alley? would i be like tasha? i dont know. i wish we could come up witha life simulator (like they do in games because its already a predetermined outcome) to where to make a decision, we could see what all of the possible outcomes would be. simulate our life from that decision othere on out, to see if it was right, or help us make the decision. im not much a of a decision maker if you havent noticed, but that would be fgreat. like i can go onine and see what wil happen if i do X in a video game, life should be like that too, expcet i feel like it would bve faulty because people change their minds, and they are unpredictable tsomeimtes. i know that from firsthand experiance. i wish i mean im glad we are unpredictable sometiems though. sometimes its bad and someone gets murdered, but someitmes its good, and your boyfrirend takes you ring shopping, or you get pictures in  a photo booth, or something youve hated for so long, comews up in front iof you and everyone thinks youre going to ignore or destroy it, but then you do it or eat it or whatever. it cmakes likfe intersting. i hate it, because i want my outcome simulate, but i love it because it makes life worth living sometimes. that is what i tell people who are suicidual, people are unpredictable and life itself is unpreditctable, like right now, life is pretty much making you feel like shit in certain circumstances  or whatever has ha[[end, but just think how wonderful it feels when life is still being its upreditable self, and something wonderful/beautiful happens. thats what makes like fflife worth living. i wish i could take my own advice sometimes. i jknow how i think , i know i hfow jheajfdkjha i feel, i wish i could freaking type anything correctly today. i just want to break this keyboard arg. type brittany type use your knowledge from third grade to actually type a word without a mistake in it. think straight. stop mixing up letter and words with other letter or wrords that ware in the letter or word. wow i did fairly well there for a monent. i cant think as fast as a iiiiiii type and it bothers me when i type one things and mean another. how am i going to be able to come back to this and nknow what i was talking abpot?

What if I had never had a playstation?

what if inever had a opplaystiostn. well i wprobabaly would have been sitting around listening to the nutty prforeesrawerr alubm anyway because that album is bomb as fuck. but also i dont know, i think i still would have gotten the wii and the xbox, but id ont know if the playstation was my fist rrtjf first realk strike with gaming, or if it was with the xboxb. i mightve been less withdrawn, but now that i thin kabout it, i used to play on ht e cuiomputer all the time too. so i dont really know if it would have changed me all that much. i would have never pplayed legend of dragoon, which i would be sad about in this realm, not that wone. oi would be missing out for real. maybe i woulf have stuck mostly with age of empires, and wii games and not pleayed RPGS like i do, ones that are heavly based upon decisions that you the player make. makybe not, ,aybe so. i still think i would have been a gamer though. ive grown up around technology for my whole life. so im pretty used to it, and i think that tyies in to me being a gamer. i also like phone games a lot. i dont know what i would do without my pohen, games. probably socialize read a book, go outside. i dont kow, that all sounds way to healthy for me to want to do it for too long. god i hate freewriting fo rlong periods of time, i just my hand hurts, and i just want to type something right, its frustationg have ing to stay away from the backsapace key. its writed right there i could hit it, everytime i type write instead of right im going to have a mini freak out epidsode. i dont like what my brain is doing to me right now. gar. is this over ye. my hand still hruts. its the flute playing gicing me alrthritis. i swear it up and down! i dont wnat trthritstsjfaskjf arthritis like my mom and grandma.

What if I had never gone to school?

I would be stupid. i bet looking at the previous freewriting assigment “” youd think i hadnt gone to school. i wouldnt know grammar rules, not that i really do, i wouldnt know how tto at least pretend to look smzart. i probably would not know how to fluff up a paper to say the same thing 30 different ways and still get full credit for saying 30 different things. im super smart. i feel like my talent to learn quickly would have gone to waste. i dont like wasting things  very muxch. everything i do has a purpose. even playing phone games. those have purpose. they take up the time so i dont feel bored.but anyway, i guess i f i hand never went to school, i wouldnt know basic math concept s to help me shop or do anything with managaing my money, i wiouldnt knoe any history (thats assuming taht i know any nhhistory now) and i would know how to read, wiould probably something too. i might mbe able to tell poeple what i was thinking, but i wouldnt be able to read or write. that would make it difficult for me to get any sort o fof job every. now if we’re talking just college, then i dont know, ive only had one semsetser so far, and i didnt learn much. it was lall review except public spekaing, but i didnt learn much in there and env science, which i never paid attention in calls.class.  i guess i would feel reptty stuid. especually since all of my family has been to high school and graudated, and then most of my famuilyfwaej family member’s have been to college for at least one or two semesters, so i would feel like i couldnt cut it in my family. itd overall be pretty sucky.